Christ, give life to all the living, The life we want, the life we know, The birthright to be unforgiving, Selfish, sullen, Truth's strong foe, Enemies to Closed Communion, Desperately seeking union, A thousand, thousand cranks we'll be, Dearest Jesus, unto Thee Let us babble with the Baptists, Let us be holy of ourselves, Don't make us feel like you've trapped us In pure doctrine, that we shelve, Opt instead to be just reaching Deep inside, despising preaching Unless it can titillate, Make us laugh and feel great We want Your will to be done, Lord, So far as it does agree With the wishes of each church board, "Christian" radio, TV, Otherwise, we're just too sated On Your Word that's so out-dated, Faithful to our hearts we serve, Give us, Lord, what we deserve Please, oh Lord, don't make me honor, Anything the pastor says, If I did, I'd be a goner, No one would my good name praise, If the pastor cannot join us, He will soon find himself coinless, And, though Lord, You'll be to blame, We'll forgive you just the same Oh Lord, let's make church exciting, Liven things up just a notch, To be sure we're You inviting, 'Long as You vow now to botch Up our work with Law and Gospel, Propers, creeds of the Apostles, Expositions of Your Word, All that stuff we, Lord, have heard Lord, let us befriend the lodges, Ordain women and the lay, Lest, oh Lord, we appear stodgy, Let's embrace the bi and gay, Hugging our human condition, Threaten, if You will, "perdition," But, O Lord, the jokes on You, We don't know what it means, 'tis true Christ, just let us have our own way, Everything will work out fine, You must trust us, so just prone lay Down Your Body and recline, Leave Your church with us good people, We'll take care, from start to steeple, 'Til we drive it in the ground, To do so we are hell-bound!