A dotty tortoise is our God, Too old to care what we may do, Where He does go, He only does plod, We can go faster and should it is true, To keep pace with the times, How can that be a crime? We're working for Him, Without us things look grim, God's only hope is me and you Like all good Deists, we feel that God's an old man, senile, unsound, Were Monotheists, that makes it pat For us to turn the Church upside-down, Forget the Trinity, We've no affinity With a Three-Person God, Three to us seems odd, To get rid of that God we're hell-bound Rationalism seems to be dead, No one puts reason over true faith, Except when Liberalism raises its head To question Scripture and gets irate When you say you confess The Word that God did bless With His own breath, Fulfilled by His Son's death; It sees no hell so opens the gates But the Word we will let remain, So that we can fool everyone Who thinks we're faithful when we're vain And that we want God's will to be done, Oh, isn't it grand, To eat out of their hand, And twist their souls So they are just like those Of us who dare to take a bold stand God is the tortoise, we are the hare, Any guess on who's going to win? We won't rest like Aesop's, we swear, We'll keep on running in name of Him Until it is too late And we have destroyed Faith Then we can rejoice, Cuz we have made our choice We're glad there is no such thing as sin There is no sin, no death or hell, They are only fables we know, So on them we've sounded the death-knell, So we can truly go and grow Full of ourselves, And with no one's help Achieve our good aims, And all in Jesus' name, That man who failed and fell into woe Where Jesus failed we will succeed, Because we're smarter in our approach, We won't condemn, we've got a bead On what folks want, we don't need a coach, To know just how to bend Them round our fingers and Pull them so tight That they give up all fight, And unlike God we'll never be gauche