What follows is the greater part of and email message I got unsolicited from Dave and Barb Anderson and their "Wanna Be Baptists or Entertainers" business. You will pardon me if I make a few snide comments as you read through this slough.

2) Upcoming Worship and Music Conference

SCHOLARSHIPS AVAILABLE FOR SPECIAL FINANCIAL SITUATIONS!

I would like to know how many scholarships are given out and to whom.

"Created to Praise" is an interesting concept. I wonder how much theology went into choosing that theme for this year's extravaganza, or did they just copy it from Community House of Joy (Sounds like a brothel, rather than a tax-exempt religious insitiution, doesn't it?) or one of the many competing Worship Conferences put on by Hybels or Oesch.

The audience is "pastors, church leaders, musicians and worship leaders." This conference is reaching out to those who have charge of leading the people of God with the Gospel, and they don't know the Gospel when they come to the Conference. These are presumably the ones making their Baptistic testimonies about how the gospel they learned at the conference "change their lives." (Another good Baptistic term for "conversion," as those of us in the South and Southwest know well.)

It is obviously not the Gospel of Christ that we Lutherans were all supposed to know, ascent to and trust when we made out Confirmation vows that these people are experiencing. It must be the contemporary gospel of "I feel good about myself" or something like that that has these folks all stirred up and making visible and audible testimonies.

This is one of the significant traps that contemporary worship gurus have fallen into. They have to keep coming up with something new and better every week and every year. Like Dodge Intrepid, theier motto has to be: "We are changing everything ---- again." If they don't who will come to their weekly shows? If they don't have or at least promise to be better than last years conference, who will pay the big bucks to come back again? Besides, who can come up with anything better than the old, old story of Jesus and His love?

What is the religious background of the people leading these seminars at the conference. I did not want to waste the time doing all the research, but I would wager that more than half are not Lutheran. And they are going to teach Lutherans how to be more faithful to the Gospel? What Gospel? The Reformed Gospel of double predestination? The Evangelical Gospel of Emotionalism? The Neo-Lutheran Gospel of Postmodernism? I do know that Steve Hower says he is a Lutheran. Would I think he was a Lutheran if I went to his church on Sunday morning? Not if his Praise Band was rocking and rolling, and he was in his sweater holding the mic close to his mouth to muddy his words of inspiration as he wanders all over the stage. Would I confess my damnable sins, hear a proclamation from an obvious representative of Christ that my sins are forgiven, see Christ crucified in the homebrew liturgy and have the Law and Gospel applied to me rather than just mentioned in passing?

Ahh. Here are some other names that have had Lutheran backgrounds. No, not the children's music, creative writing or liturgical dance ladies. Anderson, Luecke, Zehnder. These guys have dragged the Lutheran Church so far to the contemprary middle of the road that they have lost touch with their confession.

I really wish I could get a scholarship to attend and review all the goings on at the Created to Praise Conference. I certainly don't know if it would be worth the time away from home and the parish, but I know I can't afford the high prices anyway. It is funny that I can go to the Symposia at Ft. Wayne for a pitance of what these guys charge. The Association of Confessional Lutherans are meeting in Chicago and the price is much lower than these guys are charging for non-Lutheran, heterodox speakers. Our Free Conferences in Texas operate on a free will offering basis and almost always break even. These guys in Ellisville must be piling up the cash for the Y2K crash.

Music is a great thing. Luther liked music. But music must be fit for worship, and much of what passes for contemporary Christian music is contemptible. It is unsingable, except for the leaders, and the messages are usually weak and innane. It is performance music, and attracts wannabe performers like Dave and Barb, who can't hold a candle professionally to most of the big name stars. One suspects that the whole contemp scene in the Lutheran Church has been "Created to Praise Me," the performer, the testimony giver, the dramatist, the musician, not to Praise Christ, the suffering servant of the cross.

The DATES for ‘99 are: JUNE 23-24-25-26, with the 26th being an "add-on" day for in-depth instruction for musicians. Arlen Salte will teach praise bands;
Steve Bowersox will lead vocals; at the end of the day they will culminate in an awesome worship experience! Group discounts are available so churches can send their entire teams.

This "awesome worship experience" on the "add-on day" the 26th is obviously worth staying for. You would probably hear preachers, music ministers and youth workers in Lutheran Churches testifying to how the Gospel of the 1999 Created to Praise Conference converted them to Christ after all those years of being a mere Biblical, liturgical, confessional Lutheran. (They must have gone to one of the six hour instruction classes the Church Growth Gurus in San Antonio, the Metroplex, Austin and Houston are conducting.) Now they are born again contemporary worship witnesses. They are now "Created to Praise" the Conference in Ellisville. They will go out, sing the praises of Hower and his extarvaganza and bring in a bunch more customers next year.

"Group discounts are available so churches can send their entire teams," the email says. Now why would a church want to send their "entire team" to this Conference, even if they get a discount? This is the middle of the softball season and they would miss several games. That would put them at the bottom of the standings. It may be a great and "awesome worship experience," but is it worth that much to clap your hands and stomp your feet? You can do that on Saturday night at the Western Dance Hall.

Reading betweeen the lines: We are trying to save money. Why should we send our slick, expensive brocures to those stuck in the mud confessional and liturgical types? They just ask "How can these people justify sending these expensive brochures? We have to print our own and can't afford to mail them, with postage so high. How do these Chruch Growth Gurus afford this?" One way they are increasing their profit margin is by cutting down on printing and postage expense.

We can put your money in the bank and collect interest for a new performance grade sport shirt for the big "awesome worship experience" on the 26th. Maybe I can get the female singer a new and tighter black sequined dress. Sex even sells religion.

Notice the "FIVE MORE for FREE!" promotion. The manager at Wal Mart could not be slicker in his business than these guys are in their business.

Their business is selling the Lutheran Church the flat, oatmeal taste of non-denominationalism in place of the sharp picante of confessional Lutheranism. Non-denominational lookalikeism is un- or anti-confessional. Denominations have distinctive doctrines that are reflected in their names and worship. This conference looks very much like the Glorieta Innovative Leadership Conference being put on by the Southern Baptists in May and probably a dozen other such conferences pushing contemporary worship.

Their business, whether they know it or not, is to destroy that which gave them the Gospel of Christ's grace for eternal life for a momentary, pleasurable and temprorary/contemporary experience.

I really love this part of the email brochure. The printed and mailed ones are even better. This is where the real money is made.... charging the dupes - the preachers and worship planners - who want their empty lives filled with some not so cheap thrills. Well, at least they are cheaper than the Baptists who get $295 a head for a 3 day deal. But I bet the Baptists' testimonies and performances are slicker and more professional than are Hower's and Anderson's. They have been at it longer and have the techniques down better. Our Baptist Wannabes have some long distance catching up to do.

To receive more information ... contact Fellowship Ministries toll-free at 1 (800) 783-3079; fax: (602) 838-9187; e-mail:fministry@aol.com; or ‘snail-mail’ us at 6202 So. Maple #128, Tempe, AZ 85283. AND check out the website at www.cforc.com/fellowship/

Surely at the prices these guys are charging they could afford their own domain name and would not have to sponge off cforc.com for their website. Oh, well, if the Texas District can do it, I suppose it is okay for FM to do it too. Internet hosting is too high even for non-profit organizations, so I have a little sympathy for Dave and Barb.

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