All hail the power of Beavis' name In your youth ministry, Don't be a butthead, Join the game And you'll grow in ranks, you'll see Don't be a butthead, Join the game And you'll grow in ranks you'll see MTV your ministry And make it way cool hip, Cuz though your kids Were confirmands You'll find that they may have slipped, Cuz though your kids Were confirmands You'll find that they may have slipped Learn the guitar, electric's good, And jam the Jesus tunes, The kids will dig Your kindredhood And think that you are the dude, The kids will dig Your kindredhood And think that you are the dude The content of your ministry Counts not, but only style, So use the stuff From Wernicke That's unfit by a mile, So use the stuff From Wernicke That's unfit by a mile Forget that kids are not that keen On seeing elders act Like kids themselves, Just dig the scene And show that you know jack, Like kids themselves, Just dig the scene And show that you know jack Play right into their hands you see, Be what you think they want, Then when you ask Theology, Be prepared for a grunt, Then when you ask Theology, Be prepared for a grunt Youth ministry is dear to all, The pastor must conform, He's "hired" for it By his call, That is becoming the norm, He's "hired" for it By his call, That is becoming the norm If you can't be a minist'ry clone, Then you'd best hang it up, If you are just a Preaching drone, Then Queen Cong is fed up, If you are just a Preaching drone, Then Queen Cong is fed up Word and Sacrament are fine, But not for youth you see, They need for you To wine and dine Or they may get cranky, They need for you To wine and dine Or they may get cranky Throw a big youth gathering And pull out all the stops, Don't let the kids feel the Law's sting, Or they may deem it a flop, Don't let the kids feel the Law's sting, Or they may deem it a flop And then the parents will be mad And they'll be up in arms, They will think that they've been had And become very alarmed, They will think that they've been had And become very alarmed So it is best to treat the youth As you'd treat anyone Don't try to teach to him the Truth, Cuz no one will think that is fun, Don't try to teach to him the Truth, Cuz no one will think that is fun And when your youth will see the Lord And think that they're shoe-ins, The Lord may yawn as if He's bored, Cuz He will not know them, The Lord may yawn as if He's bored, Cuz He will not know them!